J.I.N

Much more like blazing and burning hell for the past few days..As I merely escaped from the clutches of sorrow,I bought myself a ticket and flee overstraits,our lovely neighbour,SIngapore..It’s kind of a last minute decision but I do really need some space to breathe and cast aside everything..Then,off I went to Singapore…

As much of my friends know me (or should I say just one or two of them) about this dream of mine..The hopes are still glittering with shinning light,eventhough it failed me years back..

Without fail,I will travel to the Lion City at least twice a year..It has been all while for me to live at there and maybe that’s what they termed it self-consoling for what I have done so far..I falled short to become the cream of the crop for the later years but all this while,it has never been a second it slipped out of my mind..The dream to live in a sophisticated heaven which I yearned for..This brimming passion is just like the torch of the olympic,full of frevor and anticipation…

For me,now its the time to fight for what I desire for…I have done what I should to keep this dream of mine alive…I would do anything and I do mean anything just for the sake of it…Starting a new life in the garden city is what I am looking forward to..

Kitto Katsu!!!!!!

I have blew out the 22nd candle months ago and this directly shows how long I have live..As they say,the older you get,the more problems and questions will keep pouring in..with that,I don’t deny and I have to raise both of my hands to go along with it..

For the past years where no worries and fears have provided a mere mortal like me with a simple life,I am contended and feel blessed abotu it..I guess all this has come to an end..Questions like ‘what lies ahead?’..’what will happen in the near future?’..everything..all the unsures..has shattered the faith and believe inside me..I just feel like I am wandering in the darkness and searching for the door to light..As I told myself all the way long,"there will always be a door to light"…Is that true?…I doubt it myself…I have seen peoples around me living in the light where as I see myself living in the darkness..

Life is vulnerable…I don’t know how to express this kind of feeling but it’s kind of a mix feeling..I belive all of us have the sense of gratitude down inside to our parents for bringing us into this world..I am no exception..But I guess,there are many things to me to think and crack my brain over it..If I will ever describe life..I would say it as a big puzzle which requires patient and wisdom to decode the meaning of it..It’s just something like the heart..complex and hard to understand..There is just more than anger and hatred,but it’s full of all kinds of feelings..Hearts are unpredictable..and so are one’s thought..

I wouldn’t say I understand myself inside out..On contrary,I would say I only understand myself up to 60%..It’s hard for someone to see all his plus and minus sides..It’s just no way..It’s just not..The best way to see yourself,is when you are not yourself..kind of contradicting..I don’t know if I get the sentence right or vice versa..Nah..

Looks like I have to compose myself to walk on..All I can ever do now is pray for my sorrows to end and hope that everything will blend in such a way I am looking forward for it to..starting a new journey may not be so hard..or maybe its already begun and I am on the track without realizing it..

Maybe I will lost myself during the journey,but I will see everyone beside me just as the way they remember me…The chain of memories will be broken..Guess I will just have to follow the light in my heart..and hopefully it will guide me to the right path and not obliteration…